Why Europeans Don't Want American Food: It's for Good Reason, King TACO
No tacos have been harmed in the making of this article
Is everyone getting sick and tired of King Trump the First of America shoving various things down everyone’s throats? I bet no matter who is on the receiving end of said shoving, they will say yes.
Well, this time he’s trying to shove American food items down Europe’s throat, and if you’re thinking… well, food is not so bad compared to other shove-worthy items, let me tell you Europeans will have none of it, with the risk of facing the thereat of those 50% tariffs.
“The European Union won’t take chicken from America. They won’t take lobsters from America. They hate our beef because our beef is beautiful and theirs is weak,” declared the US commerce secretary, Howard Lutnick, in April.
Hmm… interesting. And laughable.
So Mr. Lutnick’s logic is that we don’t want his meat because it’s better than ours? What’s his train of thought behind this, I wonder?
Could it be none other than saying what he needs to say for the delicate ears of dear leader, with no concern for the truth whatsoever? Yup, I think that’s it.
There is no finalized deal yet between the EU and the U.S. specifically regarding American food products. Talks are ongoing with a looming July 9 deadline to avert steep tariffs, but major disagreements remain unresolved.
The EU has made it absolutely clear that food-safety standards are non-negotiable. Hormone-treated beef, chlorinated chicken, and other standard U.S. practices will not be tolerated unless U.S. producers fully comply with EU regulations.
Which they will never do, for the simple reason that EU practices cost more, thus resulting in less profit.
Plus…
Europeans really don’t want to eat American food
Not that they haven’t been eating it so far, and not that they haven’t enjoyed it, it’s just that… American food has a bad reputation. And it’s for good reason.
As a European traveling to the U.S. and a huge foodie myself, I believe I can offer a strong opinion about American food and why Europeans don’t want it. Mind you, I said strong opinion, not objective opinion.
So here it goes: I adore American food. American food is everything everywhere all at once. It’s overwhelmingly sweet, incredibly salty, and electrifyingly spicy. All at the same time.
Heart attack umami level is what it is.
I adore it with the passion of any food-addict shoving unlimited quantities of pure greasy crunchy exhilarating bliss into her mouth. And that level of intensity is exactly why Europeans hate your food, my dear American friends.
Europeans want their food to taste like actual food, not a bizarre lab experiment.
They want to feel the real taste of veggies rather than smother them in ranch dressing, and the taste of cherries in a pie rather than drown it in whipped cream.
Europeans also care about health and are usually not very fond of diabetes. The U.S. looks like it doesn’t have that problem. Americans seem to be completely fine with diabetes culture and everyone either has a form of diabetes or is preparing to get one.
It’s no wonder the health care system can’t handle all the terrifying glory of American food.
Sarcasm aside, it’s American food’s exaggerated yumminess that gives Europeans the ick.
It’s all the sugar in the food, the chemicals that the EU prohibited, the consequent diabetes, the heart disease, the obesity. Europeans don’t want to look and feel like Americans, and they know food plays a big role in that.
Truth be told, one of the first things that shocked me the most about American food was the ungodly amount of sugar that I could feel in absolutely every item I bought from the supermarket.
Literally everything tasted sweet to me.
And it’s not because European producers don’t shove sugar into everything they produce too.
If you check European labels you’ll see sugar everywhere as well. It’s just that we haven’t gone that far yet. And we’re afraid that if we accept American standards we just might.
Aside from everything tasting like a dessert even when it’s supposed to be savory, I also remember as shocking, but good shocking this time, how beautiful, shiny, colorful, and put together all the fruits and veggies are. Everything is just perfect — like they’re all going to a ball and put on their best clothes.
No offense, Americans, but where on earth are your apples with dark spots on them, or the two-legged carrots?
Nature is not that perfect — so what have you done to it?
Aside from the aesthetic pleasure I derived from the gorgeous pyramids of shiny fruit, the feeling was eerie.
Where is the perfection-challenged produce and why is it discriminated against? Natural equals flawed — so what have you added to your fruit to make it look that way? Is it fruit botox? I need to know!
Granted, everything I tasted was great, just as good as in Europe, but it’s also true that I only visited California and Florida, which have plenty of sun all year round, so nature has the perfect conditions to ripen everything to perfection.
So, I had zero complaints about the taste of anything I shoved in my pie hole: an American expression that my sugar-hijacked brain adores.
From gas station snowballs to dill pickle pork rinds, American food is a crazy ride for the senses and Europe prefers a more balanced approach.
Sorry, Mr. Trumpoleon.
However, forget for a moment whether Europeans even want American agricultural products.
The bigger issue is the devastating climate cost that such a trade deal would bring
Transporting food across oceans already causes 20% of all agriculture-related emissions, and Europe is already burdened with a high share of that pollution.
We should be urgently slashing these numbers, not making them worse by hauling unnecessary shipments of food across the Atlantic. This isn’t just inefficient — it’s reckless.
What Howard Lutnick doesn’t seem to understand is that other countries can and do grow their own food, as long as the climate permits. And Europe does grow its own beef. And chicken.
It just doesn’t seem to penetrate his thick skull that we don’t need it and the reality is most Europeans wouldn’t eat it anyway because it seems so gross in comparison.
The question is — is it really gross or is that just the public’s perception?
Well does it even matter? If we don’t need it or want it, why should we take it? Just because Cheeto Benito says so? Come on.
I mean, yes, that’s exactly why.
Apparently, it’s not all propaganda though. About two decades ago McDonald’s did a customer taste comparison in the US using Australian versus American beef. The Australian won by a considerable margin which should have meant a boon for Australian beef export to the U.S. but Big Food made sure that didn’t happen by getting import quotas.
Incidentally, McDonald’s in France uses French beef, which may be one of the reasons they are rated better than the US version.
I haven’t tasted McDonald’s in the US, but I did taste KFC and to tell you the truth, it tasted exactly the same to me.
I mean that chicken is coated in so much crap — who even feels the chicken anymore, right? It’s all about the Colonel’s magic 11 spices. They could cover a piece of plastic in them and it would still taste good to me. That’s probably exactly what they’re doing.
Europe is not much better. Just a little bit better
Sure, U.S. farming standards are a total nightmare — but let’s not kid ourselves that Europe’s somehow the shining hero here.
In the EU, they’re still happily spraying dangerous pesticides, causing insect populations to crash faster than you can say “environmental disaster.”
Insects aren’t exactly crowd favorites, but guess what? They make up nearly half the world’s biomass and are absolutely crucial for keeping ecosystems from falling apart.
The UK is playing a fun little game too — still using pesticides the EU banned ages ago. People living near those industrial farms get a front-row seat to this chemical show, while the rest of the population gets to enjoy pesticide cocktails in our fruits and veggies.
Spoiler alert: those chemicals don’t just disappear harmlessly; they mess with human cells, science confirms it.
Look at the U.S. as a cautionary tale and let’s not get too comfy thinking, “Well, at least it’s not that bad here.”
Europe and the UK need to stop tiptoeing around this and take some serious, bold action — because the current “slow and steady” decline isn’t just bad, it’s a fast track to ecological chaos.
A term that the Tangerine Toddler can’t even begin to comprehend.
So, while King Taco Trump keeps trying to shove his pesticide-soaked, sugar-drenched “food” down Europe’s throat, Europeans are right to slam the door in his face. This isn’t just about flavor — it’s about survival, sanity, and saving what’s left of the planet.
Europe isn’t perfect, but at least it’s not treating food like a toxic science experiment or turning its countryside into a bug graveyard. Meanwhile, the U.S. barrels full speed toward an ecological disaster wrapped in a supersized combo meal.
So yeah, keep your “beautiful” beef and your plastic-coated chicken, America. Europe will pass — and honestly, so will the planet, if we’re lucky.
Ciao, Cheeto Benito.
Seed oil soaked