MAGAts have, by voting for 🐔🌮, crossed a line that places them outside of the society of decent human beings. They should be shunned: Don’t buy from them, don’t sell to them, don’t speak to them or make eye contact if you encounter one on the street. Don’t invite them to your place of worship, or your children’s birthday parties, or to the Elks Lodge Summer Picnic. Don’t lend them any money, and don’t even try to help them if they come to you with a tale of woe (particularly if that woe is a direct result of whom they voted for.) Walk past them in silence with your gaze averted, or turn your back to them in silence. If they want to rejoin the company of decent people, they have a lot of work ahead of them, trying to help make up the damage that they’ve done to the poor, the sick, the suffering, and all the others they’ve harmed by their stupid, ignorant, cruel actions that they are now so proud of.
I have only one quibble. We do owe everyone civility. It is possible to be civil, and completely cold and unwelcoming. It's all in the tone of voice and body language. Nobody would be in doubt of your contempt, but also nobody would think the other person had been attacked.
They weren’t civil when they stripped my ability to teach the truth. They weren’t civil when they banned books that represented the student population I work with. They weren’t civil when they voted to kick my sister-in-law out of a nursing home. They weren’t civil when they voted to cut my husband’s Medicaid. They weren’t civil when they voted for delaying my federal worker survivor benefits after my husband died. (Seven months later and I am still waiting for my benefits.) They certainly weren’t civil when they voted to kidnap my neighbors.
Your absolutely right. Psychologically anger is good if you express it, vent it, and let it lead to determination. Holding it in leads to sickness. Determination to make those people irrelevant to our lives and well being by bringing an end to their abuse of our democracy.
Ghosting isn't an attack. It's a *civil* refusal to engage. I tried being cold and unwelcoming to long-time friends after they voted for trump a third time. (In our last political discussion, they'd insisted that I'd be fine because I'm a good gay person.) They pushed and pushed, forcing their presence on me as I tried to pull away in a civil manner. Their behavior bordered on stalking. Now that they've left town for their summer home, they're emailing, calling, and texting. No - you don't get to dictate the terms of our non-relationship under the guise of "concern" or "love", when you voted against humanity AND me. I've finally just blocked them. It doesn't feel uncivil at all.
I never said anything about ghosting. I was talking about interacting with someone. If you choose not to interact with them, that’s a whole other thing. You’re clearly sensitive about having ghosted someone, but if it was to maintain your own safety and mental health, then you have nothing to regret or be ashamed of.
I think you can be compassionate and honest. It is ultimately a tragic situation, so you can have empathy for their way of being. But as soon as the conversation starts to infringe upon your comfort, walk away. If they take it personally and don’t know why they earned that reaction, that’s their problem. You’re not their therapist.
Behind that cruelty is suffering. These are people in so much pain, all they understand is projecting it onto others, not to feel so bad. They aren’t evil, just deeply disturbed 😪
Agree. I treat the MAGA acquaintances with civility, just like I would with a two year old. It is always one way street with them. They do not understand civility.
Label it however negatively you want to. Sometimes civility is just walking away from confrontation. It doesn't have to involve hostility at all, and serves as a form of communication in and of itself.
OK, I grant you that. Sometimes walking away takes a whole lot more strength than getting into it with someone. The point is that you don’t need to berate or disparage someone. It wouldn’t accomplish anything.
I suppose I overreacted or assumed, just like you said. I AM sensitive about needing to disassociate, as I think most of us are. I appreciate your grace!
Thank you. I speak from experience. My mother was a toxic narcissist, and I cut off all contact with her at about age 25. I’m now 70, and have never regretted it. Yes, some people will question it, but they weren’t there and have no standing to judge you.
Same here (with family), Jody. It just took me a little longer. That said, having prior experience didn't make it any easier to cut off from good friends. I think everyone has to draw their own lines, and we're not all equipped to do it gracefully... if there is a graceful way to do it. Hurting others to save ourselves is not what most people would choose, but no one gave us a playbook for such situations.
Being cold and unwelcoming while communicating with someone isn’t being civil it’s passive aggressive behavior. You need to say what’s real or don’t have a conversation.
Yep. I'm done being the 'tolerant left.' Even Faux news watchers leave me feeling ... just a bit sick. The clowns who are still flying the magat flag? Ugh. No. Just no.
Even if the maggots I know apologized and said they regretted what they did, I STILL won’t talk to them. I do not try to hold a conversation with idiots. They did too much damage to us. As far as I’m concerned, they don’t exist
I am outraged at the people who voted for Trump. But I do not blame them as much as I blame Fox News and all the right wing disinformation propagators that warped their brains. We need as many people as possible to fight against the Trump regime. If a MAGA person gets disillusioned and wants to join the resistance who does it benefit to be nasty to him or her? See LeavingMAGA.org for a different take on the situation.
Agreed. Having a hard time with friends whose close family and spouses are trumpers. I would sever relations were I to be in their shoes. Struggling with the ethics of maintaining relationships with these people
I dream of a countrywide billboard campaign that tells the truths vs the lies, and also has lots of stuff that donnydiaper finds painfully humiliating.
What if you suspect but don’t know for sure that lifelong friends voted for Trump. Not hard core MAGA but conservative and/or evangelical or, in one case, because of a deceased parent’s lingering influence. Or the next door neighbor whom you’re just mildly acquainted with and suspect voted for Trump. I vacillate between friendliness in the go high mode and avoidance because I’m just ao angry. I struggle with how to handle these situations.
MAGAts have, by voting for 🐔🌮, crossed a line that places them outside of the society of decent human beings. They should be shunned: Don’t buy from them, don’t sell to them, don’t speak to them or make eye contact if you encounter one on the street. Don’t invite them to your place of worship, or your children’s birthday parties, or to the Elks Lodge Summer Picnic. Don’t lend them any money, and don’t even try to help them if they come to you with a tale of woe (particularly if that woe is a direct result of whom they voted for.) Walk past them in silence with your gaze averted, or turn your back to them in silence. If they want to rejoin the company of decent people, they have a lot of work ahead of them, trying to help make up the damage that they’ve done to the poor, the sick, the suffering, and all the others they’ve harmed by their stupid, ignorant, cruel actions that they are now so proud of.
I have only one quibble. We do owe everyone civility. It is possible to be civil, and completely cold and unwelcoming. It's all in the tone of voice and body language. Nobody would be in doubt of your contempt, but also nobody would think the other person had been attacked.
They weren’t civil when they stripped my ability to teach the truth. They weren’t civil when they banned books that represented the student population I work with. They weren’t civil when they voted to kick my sister-in-law out of a nursing home. They weren’t civil when they voted to cut my husband’s Medicaid. They weren’t civil when they voted for delaying my federal worker survivor benefits after my husband died. (Seven months later and I am still waiting for my benefits.) They certainly weren’t civil when they voted to kidnap my neighbors.
I don’t owe anyone civility.
I hope someday you are able to release the anger you are feeling. Anger is corrosive, and you don’t deserve to let them have that power over you.
Anger is actually a very healthy emotion
Your absolutely right. Psychologically anger is good if you express it, vent it, and let it lead to determination. Holding it in leads to sickness. Determination to make those people irrelevant to our lives and well being by bringing an end to their abuse of our democracy.
I disagree. It may be justified, and it may prompt action, but holding on to it is corrosive.
Fuck maga. They are so far gone and no one wants these assholes back.
Thanks @Frank Black. This sums up succinctly how I feel.
Ghosting isn't an attack. It's a *civil* refusal to engage. I tried being cold and unwelcoming to long-time friends after they voted for trump a third time. (In our last political discussion, they'd insisted that I'd be fine because I'm a good gay person.) They pushed and pushed, forcing their presence on me as I tried to pull away in a civil manner. Their behavior bordered on stalking. Now that they've left town for their summer home, they're emailing, calling, and texting. No - you don't get to dictate the terms of our non-relationship under the guise of "concern" or "love", when you voted against humanity AND me. I've finally just blocked them. It doesn't feel uncivil at all.
I never said anything about ghosting. I was talking about interacting with someone. If you choose not to interact with them, that’s a whole other thing. You’re clearly sensitive about having ghosted someone, but if it was to maintain your own safety and mental health, then you have nothing to regret or be ashamed of.
I think you can be compassionate and honest. It is ultimately a tragic situation, so you can have empathy for their way of being. But as soon as the conversation starts to infringe upon your comfort, walk away. If they take it personally and don’t know why they earned that reaction, that’s their problem. You’re not their therapist.
They're cruel, evil ignorant people, I'll save my empathy for those who deserve it.
Behind that cruelty is suffering. These are people in so much pain, all they understand is projecting it onto others, not to feel so bad. They aren’t evil, just deeply disturbed 😪
Nope, they're born PSYCHOPATHS
Agree. I treat the MAGA acquaintances with civility, just like I would with a two year old. It is always one way street with them. They do not understand civility.
I just finished reading the latest from Open Letters by Mersault on the biology of the MAGA brain. It explains a lot.
Sorry, Jody. That was in response to Nell's comment about passive aggressive behavior.
No harm no foul!
Label it however negatively you want to. Sometimes civility is just walking away from confrontation. It doesn't have to involve hostility at all, and serves as a form of communication in and of itself.
OK, I grant you that. Sometimes walking away takes a whole lot more strength than getting into it with someone. The point is that you don’t need to berate or disparage someone. It wouldn’t accomplish anything.
Passive-aggressive behavior is characterized by a pattern of passive hostility and an avoidance of direct communication.
The key word here is ‘pattern’, not just a single instance. And it implies the context of a close relationship, not a casual encounter.
I suppose I overreacted or assumed, just like you said. I AM sensitive about needing to disassociate, as I think most of us are. I appreciate your grace!
Thank you. I speak from experience. My mother was a toxic narcissist, and I cut off all contact with her at about age 25. I’m now 70, and have never regretted it. Yes, some people will question it, but they weren’t there and have no standing to judge you.
Same here (with family), Jody. It just took me a little longer. That said, having prior experience didn't make it any easier to cut off from good friends. I think everyone has to draw their own lines, and we're not all equipped to do it gracefully... if there is a graceful way to do it. Hurting others to save ourselves is not what most people would choose, but no one gave us a playbook for such situations.
It’s a grieving process, for sure. You need to grieve the loss of something that was important to you. Take your time.
Being cold and unwelcoming while communicating with someone isn’t being civil it’s passive aggressive behavior. You need to say what’s real or don’t have a conversation.
All I can think to say then would be
" FUCK YOU SICK MORONS ".
I think you misunderstand passive-aggression. It’s not in the affect, but in the words.
Yep. I'm done being the 'tolerant left.' Even Faux news watchers leave me feeling ... just a bit sick. The clowns who are still flying the magat flag? Ugh. No. Just no.
May wonderful women like yourself ostracize these fools into the party of blue-balled incels. I'm looking at you Steven Miller!
Totally get where you’re coming from. Life’s too short to keep toxic people around, especially when their choices directly harm others.
I personally don't care who they are or whatever their phony excuses are, I truly hope they all drop dead, 💀🔨
Even if the maggots I know apologized and said they regretted what they did, I STILL won’t talk to them. I do not try to hold a conversation with idiots. They did too much damage to us. As far as I’m concerned, they don’t exist
I am outraged at the people who voted for Trump. But I do not blame them as much as I blame Fox News and all the right wing disinformation propagators that warped their brains. We need as many people as possible to fight against the Trump regime. If a MAGA person gets disillusioned and wants to join the resistance who does it benefit to be nasty to him or her? See LeavingMAGA.org for a different take on the situation.
Agreed. Having a hard time with friends whose close family and spouses are trumpers. I would sever relations were I to be in their shoes. Struggling with the ethics of maintaining relationships with these people
We cannot call them conservatives. There is nothing remotely conservative about their behaviour.
I dream of a countrywide billboard campaign that tells the truths vs the lies, and also has lots of stuff that donnydiaper finds painfully humiliating.
I could not agree more. Thank you for validating my exact same feelings!!!!!
I think Epstein is going to be the thing that breaks Trump and Maga
This‼️
Just say NOPE to the magats in your life.
Fuck magats. No sympathy. Could give a fuck. Let even the stupid ones find out
What if you suspect but don’t know for sure that lifelong friends voted for Trump. Not hard core MAGA but conservative and/or evangelical or, in one case, because of a deceased parent’s lingering influence. Or the next door neighbor whom you’re just mildly acquainted with and suspect voted for Trump. I vacillate between friendliness in the go high mode and avoidance because I’m just ao angry. I struggle with how to handle these situations.
You should probably get out more.